Sunday, January 20, 2008


Today I heard ammi telling Dadi that it is 19th of Jan- the day abbu had his first Chemo last year. Though I’m too young (just completed 2 yrs on 30th of Dec) to understand all these terms, but I know last year, around the same time something really terrible had happened with abbu. I still have a goose bump when I think about the beginning of the last year. What a terrible start it was. In the first week of Jan Abbu had a diagnostic surgery and I could guess that the result was devastating … I saw my strong dadi crumble like a little child… my dadu entering into a trance as if nothing could ever bring him out that nightmare…. Ammi going mute, sitting for hours, in front of the computer, desperately searching for something that would give her some consolation…. some hope…I found abbu the bravest of them all…Though he was the one who suffered, yet he was the one who consoled and gave strength to everybody else in the family…

Before I could assimilate what all was happening… I saw abbu leaving for Vellore for his treatment… Poor Ammi how she wanted to go with abbu but she could not go because of me. That time I was too young for her to leave without any proper arrangement (I think that was the time I saw some tears in her eyes while she was packing abbu’s bag). It was hard for me too, despite being so young; I could not take abbu’s separation so well... I started having restless nights…I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and would find some solace so see ammi next to me… Since then I had become one chipku of ammi…

Soon we joined abbu in Vellore (on the day of my parent’s 2nd marriage anniversary. I have been told that abbu forced dadi to make arrangement fast so that we were there with him on that day)... I still remember how thrilled I was to see abbu… I clung on to him and refused to go to anybody… not even ammi could make me leave him...…

Before abbu’s diagnosis, My parent often use to discuss and make plans for future…..but now all their future plans got confined to abbu’s next chemo date, his next appointment with the doc and his next blood works and tests dates…

Those were the though days. I’m ecstatic that worst is over… He has reached one year milestone…which is a great for his type of disease…. Just one more year to go and my abbu will be declared cured… (I’m keeping my fingers as well as my toes crossed). I do see normalcy returning to us… my parents are again planning for future, as to which school I should go, what investment we should make, which car to buy in next 5 yrs etc etc…

Today when I have nightmares and I wake up, I see ammi and I see abbu.... I cling on to them and fall back to sleep peacefully… contend…assured that tomorrow I will wake up to a great day… I will have them to run around with me, to take me to places, to play with me, to teach me… I will see them go about their daily chore… laughing together…teasing and nagging each other… picking up fight on slightest provocation…. Everything feels so normal so family like…

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Letter to abba!!

Hello Abba,

How you are you doing? I came to know from amma that your radiation therapy has started. I’m glad to know that and I’m counting my days when you will be back with us…I know its not easy for you also, I do understand as I’m 17 months old now … have become a big boy !!… Life has become so much fun... I can walk and even run. …I can go wherever I want without somebody dragging me in different directions… I really enjoy my new found freedom and I make full use of it…. I make amma run around me all the time …I have bunch of friends too and I play with them in the evening. I like amma to be around when I play... I have to tell you this abba; you know amma screams at me when I greet my friends by a push or few slaps and scratch. Even my friends run away when I do that, I wonder why? Some of them even slap me back and at times cry, especially pinky and nunnu. They are such babies huh!!! I don’t know when they will grow up. Like amma, do you also think that I should find some other way of greeting them?

I want to spend as much time as possible with amma. I don’t like it when she goes and sits in front of the computer for hours. I feel so irritated that I don’t let her work for more than 15 minutes at a stretch. You must be wondering as to how I manage to do that… I have become very smart abba; I know many ways to grab her attention…Like I go and stand next to her and I howl and howl and howl till she picks me up and leaves that stupid computer. If howling does not work, I snatch the mouse, bang it hard on the table or I start hitting the entire keys on the keyboard… (I love the khater patter sound that they make…) when all of these fail; I use my secret weapons…. I attack her with my teeth… Yes now I have 9 of them and I know how and when to use them… I’m just itching to give you a sample, hope you will not give me extreme reactions like amma. Again you must be wondering that being such a nice boy why I do all these things to trouble her. Well abba I don’t like to see her work alone… I’m so used to seeing both of you work together that I feel sad when I see her work alone. I promise, I will try and spend sometime with nani and phoophis so that she can work a bit. I know how important it is for both of you.

How is dadi?? I miss her a lot. Give her my love and tell her that I can speak many words now like doo(milk) amma, aapa, shoo(shoes), mum(water and pee), dada, dadi, naani… thats all I can recall right now.

Love you abba and I’m waiting with bated breath to be with you again. How I long to run around and play with you like before.

Lots of love, bites and hugs

Your boy,

Chota Shumzee

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

First Steps

This is Shumzi's Abbu with the hottest news on Shumzi ... He has started walking ... Ok "started walking" is stretching it a bit ... But Shumzi did take is his first wobbly cute steps yesterday (27 March 2007) ...
( and this can be announced all over the Empire to the sounds of Nagaadas ... with loud proclamations of "Suno Suno Suno ... ye ailaan kiya jaata hai ki Nawaab Shums Alam ney apney pehley kadam badhaye hain ... is khushi mey Shaahi Jashn ka ailan kiya jaata hai .... Suno Suno Suno ")

Lately, our boy has been doing a lot of crawling and scooting around on all fours ... he has a good throw (plastic ball goes flying across the room in the exact direction he wants to throw it in) ... he can stack up to 5-6 blocks (of various shapes - cubes, tubes and the kinds) ... is has definite preferences and asks for his favourite - toy, game, song_from_Daadi ... and generally does a lot of interesting, intelligent and fun things.

The two things he has been holding back are - Talk and Walk.

Now on the talk front he has the strong vocab of 2 words ... Mum-mum/Bum - which means I want to drink/play with water ... and Bye-Bye - A generous use of bye-bye has made Shums very popular with girls and old uncle/aunties in our locality in Vellore.

On the walk front Shumzi has been a bit cautious - He can stand up and stay straight for 10 seconds - without any help ... He walks on his feet - if his Abbu or Amma hold both his hands ... with hands held he gets more adventurous and even climbs up and down the stairs (like grown ups - climbing a stair in a single step). But, till yesterday, he hadn't taken a single hands-free step forward.

So let me take you there ...the scene was such - It was a pleasant March morning ... Shumzi, me and Daadi were out in the balcony, genreally chilling out ... Shumzi was in good mood ... He stood up giggling and was standing straight ... about 3 feet from his Daadi ... when Daadi said ... "aaja beta" and streched out her arms ... Shumzi took 3 or 4 steps and walked straight into Daadi's waiting arms ... I saw it all and called Afshan ... but our dude did not repeat the stunt ... maybe another day (Afshan says he walked again later in the day, but I didn't see it) ... and day he does a repeat - I want to be ready with a camera ( which puts a question in my mind ... is their anyone in this world who caught his/her kid's first steps on camera ? ... its almost impossible one would need to carry a camera all day long)

Yestday's Shumzi took his first steps ... today I took mine ... and started writing on Shumzi's World. Lets see how long I take to do a repeat-performance.


Sunday, December 31, 2006