Congratulations!!!

Today I heard ammi telling Dadi that it is 19^th of Jan- the day abbu had his first Chemo last year. Though I’m too young (just completed 2 yrs on 30^th of Dec) to understand all these terms, but I know last year, around the same time something really terrible had happened with abbu. I still have a goose bump when I think about the beginning of the last year. What a terrible start it was. In the first week of Jan Abbu had a diagnostic surgery and I could guess that the result was devastating … I saw my strong dadi crumble like a little child… my dadu entering into a trance as if nothing could ever bring him out that nightmare…. Ammi going mute, sitting for hours, in front of the computer, desperately searching for something that would give her some consolation…. some hope…I found abbu the bravest of them all…Though he was the one who suffered, yet he was the one who consoled and gave strength to everybody else in the family…

Before I could assimilate what all was happening… I saw abbu leaving for Vellore for his treatment… Poor Ammi how she wanted to go with abbu but she could not go because of me. That time I was too young for her to leave without any proper arrangement (I think that was the time I saw some tears in her eyes while she was packing abbu’s bag). It was hard for me too, despite being so young; I could not take abbu’s separation so well... I started having restless nights…I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and would find some solace so see ammi next to me… Since then I had become one chipku of ammi…

Soon we joined abbu in Vellore (on the day of my parent’s 2^nd marriage anniversary. I have been told that abbu forced dadi to make arrangement fast so that we were there with him on that day)... I still remember how thrilled I was to see abbu… I clung on to him and refused to go to anybody… not even ammi could make me leave him...…

Before abbu’s diagnosis, My parent often use to discuss and make plans for future…..but now all their future plans got confined to abbu’s next chemo date, his next appointment with the doc and his next blood works and tests dates…

Those were the though days. I’m ecstatic that worst is over… He has reached one year milestone…which is a great for his type of disease…. Just one more year to go and my abbu will be declared cured… (I’m keeping my fingers as well as my toes crossed). I do see normalcy returning to us… my parents are again planning for future, as to which school I should go, what investment we should make, which car to buy in next 5 yrs etc etc…

Today when I have nightmares and I wake up, I see ammi and I see abbu.... I cling on to them and fall back to sleep peacefully… contend…assured that tomorrow I will wake up to a great day… I will have them to run around with me, to take me to places, to play with me, to teach me… I will see them go about their daily chore… laughing together…teasing and nagging each other… picking up fight on slightest provocation…. Everything feels so normal so family like…